The Ultimate Comeback
If you’re just jumping in and haven’t had a chance to read my first couple of blog posts, I suggest taking a few minutes to take a step back and have a quick read as it will help with some of the backstory, how I have arrived where I am today, and why I am so passionate about helping people identify and take the steps necessary so they too can be Living Life All In!
Picking up where we left off, I had just come out of surgery where doctors had to remove my large intestine following a sudden onset of IBD – either Ulcerative Colitis or Crohn’s Disease, doctors weren’t exactly sure. I was living a new reality with an ostomy bag attached to my stomach and I suddenly found myself in a completely foreign world. I struggled to care for myself. To lighten the mood, my wife named the little nub that now stuck out of my stomach, and my newly configured digestive system, after the Disney character “Stitch”. Stitch was often ornery but meant well. At times, he would revolt and spew crap everywhere – literally – while we learned to change the ostomy bags.
We would get frustrated, sometimes we would cry, and sometimes we would simply laugh because of the absurdity of it all. We’d eventually pull ourselves together, clean up the mess and go on with our day. Stitch would let me know, often loudly and explosively, what he thought of different meals. We were determined to learn everything we could so we read all the books, researched all the articles online, and joined some support groups for advice.
I was one surgery into what would be a three-surgery process to rebuild my digestive system with no large intestine. The first step was living with that ostomy to give my body a chance to heal. During the second surgery, doctors would build something called a “J-Pouch” out of a piece of my small intestine that would do part of the job of a large intestine. It would need to heal internally so the system wouldn’t be connected inside until the third surgery.
A lot of people started telling me all the things I couldn’t do, the things I shouldn’t do. I was told repeatedly that my life had changed and i needed to accept the things i could no longer do. I fully embraced the first part of that and categorically, stubbornly, rejected the second.
One note here – I am truly grateful for the people I’ve connected with on social media, but I am equally grateful I didn’t find some of the groups while I was at my lowest. Online communities can be great, but you have to sift through the 95% of people who are there venting because things are not going well. You have to be very intentional to find the good and identify the 5% who share stories of hope and resilience. For me, I was determined to focus on the solutions, not on the potential setbacks.
While in the hospital, we’d found a new gastrointestinal specialist when he happened to check on me doing morning rounds. To this day, he is my go-to doctor and has become a friend. While so many were telling me I couldn’t, I shouldn’t, I wouldn’t be able to, Doc Miller would say “I think you’re a little nuts but… if you’re going to, here’s what we need to do.” His belief in what is possible is a major part of why I am living so boldly now.
Side note: A huge piece of advice if you are facing a medical challenge: Find the right care team! Advocate for yourself fiercely at every step. And if you’re not happy with the doctor you have, find another one. If you’re unhappy or uncertain, you have choices and you don’t have to accept what is simply presented as your first and only option. A great care team will make all the difference when it comes to your mental and physical health.
By the time I had healed (mostly) from the third surgery to put my gastrointestinal system back together, I was more than ready to start living again, to be active again, to start working out again. I needed to walk and to run. I also needed to get back in the air skydiving and I needed to be back in the ocean where I am most at peace.
At this moment – recognizing my new medical reality and my mental, emotional and physical needs – was born a new outlook on life.
Doctors would keep me in the hospital for another week after surgery so I could gain the strength to walk down the hall and rebuild enough muscle to just care for myself. It took a week after I was discharged just to be able to walk up the street and back or to be able to go up a few stairs, but I was determined. I was stubborn. I got on the treadmill and started with a half mile walk. Every day, it went up a half mile. By week two, it was a jog.
I had a note taped on the screen of the treadmill that said “Second chance, first place.”
I told my doctors by the end of the year I was going to run a 5k. Most of the medical team shared their doubts. My home nurse fired me when she came over and found me doing a lot more than the basic physical therapy she’d prescribed. But Doc Miller never questioned me.
I was also ready to get back to skydiving after being grounded for months, but Doc (and my wife) were insistent that I at least let my body heal from the surgery for six weeks. In the meantime, I found Stealth Belt, a specialty company that made neoprene belts to hold the ostomy bag in place while I was active. It could also be used in water so I was psyched that I could both skydive and paddle again with some confidence that everything would be held in place!
Six weeks to the day after surgery, surrounded by people I am so blessed to call friends, I made my 500th skydive. The next morning, I was back playing in the Atlantic ocean off the coast of Florida.
I was reclaiming my life. More than reclaiming it though, I was determined to take living life to a whole new level – from the way I loved & played to the way I worked… the way I lived each day. For me, this was what it meant to start living my life all in.
In blogs to come, I’ll talk about what Living Life All In means, what it looks like for me, and what it can look like for you, regardless of circumstances. I’ll share how it has changed nearly every aspect of my life – how I approach each day, the people in my life, the work I do and what I do with my time. I’ll share a bit about how it’s shifted what I value in my own life, in the people I choose to spend time with, what gets my time or energy and how I assess if something – or somebody – is worth that time or energy.
This will also be the start of the conversations on the Living Life All In Podcast that I’m particularly excited about having, with guests and with all of you, about the traits & habits I believe are most important to happiness & to success in all aspects of life.
My hope is that each blog or podcast episode will inspire you in some way to take action in your own life.
With that goal & commitment in mind, I’m not just going to talk about what the realization that we have only one life meant for how I lived, I’m going to share some of the tools I use to sort through the noise, to figure out what things do really matter & are worthy of time… to hold myself accountable for taking daily action on building the life I want & the life that reflects that recognition of the gift of each day. Hopefully, some of these tools will be things you can use in your own way to get clear on what matters to you, to develop your own plan that reflects those values, to set standards, goals & objectives & to hold yourself accountable.
Thank you for checking in today. I know it’s time out of your day that could be spent on any one of a dozen other topics or hundreds of other things. I’m honored you took the time to be here and hope you found something you can use or think about.
Until next time… Live with purpose, live with intention and Live Life All In!
About Berrick Abramson:
Berrick Abramson is a business owner, executive coach and a strategist for business and government leaders across the U.S.. Berrick has served his country and community in and out of uniform and is a successful entrepreneur who created businesses in multiple sectors and helped shape, fund and grow dozens more. He has served as a consultant, negotiator and strategist advising senior government and business leaders across the country on some of the most complex issues they face. Driven by a commitment to help those willing to do the work accomplish what others say is impossible, he has mentored dozens of entrepreneurs, transitioning veterans, senior government and business leaders.
If you’re on social media, give the show a follow: @LivingAllIn on instagram and Living Life All In podcast on Facebook. You can also follow Berrick directly: @BerrickAbramson on Instagram and Facebook.